Sunday, April 10, 2011

No air

The grief of losing my mom seems to come more often lately, and there are no limits as to where or when it will strike.  I was at the gym the other day and I was listening to the Rihanna station on Pandora, which usually has mostly upbeat music.  The song "No Air, by Jordin Sparks feat Chris Brown came on.  Normally I would skip over this song as it's not very upbeat, but for some reason I didn't.  The words really struck me and I lost it while I was on the squat machine (embarrassing!).  A lot of times I feel like I can't breathe, the grief hits me so hard.  Everything makes me think of her.  Anytime Peyton or Olivia does something new I get the urge to call her, still.  It's still so surreal to me that she is gone. 
Here's the song...

1 comment:

poopsie said...

so sorry nicole, i think you will probably feel like this for some time. losing your mom is like losing your best friend, that pain will never go away. no words help ease the pain, even time doesnt help in the beginning. hang in there, love you!